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(no subject)

Sep. 27th, 2007 | 11:09 am

i never thought i'd say this, but right now i wish i was at home. in the fucking isle of man. why? because i am totally living with the wrong people.
i don't like being woken up at fucking 3 in the fucking morning by drunken wankers. nor do i like being woken up at fucking half 9 with someone banging on my bedroom door wanting me to turn the internet on. fucking hell.
they can get pissed at me for not paying them for stuff THEY have bought. it's stuff that i won't fucking use.
also, i've done the washing up and tidied the house. what happened? they turned it into a shithole again. so basically,i'll do MY washing up and keep my room tidy.
also, i don't appreciate people doing drugs in the house either.
i also think its a bit wrong when someone has a boyfriend they love, yet they fuck their ex a few times a week when they come round.
THE WORD "NO" EXISTS FOR A REASON.

the less time i spend here, the better. but i have nowhere to go.
they don't like hol, and i have no idea why. infact, they don't like any of my mates. i don't think they even like me. i don't mind anyway. one of them talks to me like i'm fucking retarded and treats me like it too.
actually, a few people do it too. i'm nearly 21. i'm not a fucking child.
i'm beyond pissed off.

bring on june.

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(no subject)

Sep. 10th, 2007 | 08:59 pm

it's pretty lame when all you have is a junkies record to explain how you feel.



An ending fitting for the start
You twist and tore our love apart
Your light fingers threw the dark
That shattered the lamp and into darkness cast us...

No, you've got it the wrong way round
You shut me up and blamed it on the brown
Cornered the boy, kicked out at the world... the world kicked back
Alot fuckin' harder...

If you wanna try, if you wanna try There's no worse you could do (oh oh oh)
I know you lie (I know you lie)
I'm still in love with you (oh oh oh)

Can't take me anywhere (I'll take you anywhere)
Can't take me anywhere (I can't take you anywhere)
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go

No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now

Have we enough to keep it together?
Or do we just keep on pretending (and hope our luck is never ending)... oh

You tried to pull the wool, I wasn't feeling too clever
And you take all that they're lending
Until you needed mending...

If you wanna try
If you wanna try
There's no worse you could do (oh oh oh)

I know you lie
All you do is make me cry
All those words that ain't true

Can't take me anywhere (can't take you anywhere)
Can't take me anywhere (wouldn't take you anywhere)
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go

No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now
No, you can't stand me now, no you can't stand me now

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(no subject)

Jul. 26th, 2007 | 10:06 pm

I have no idea when I last wrote in here.

If I have to go for another blood test, I'll like...I dunno.
Two fucking years now.
You'd think they'd have told me what it was by now.
Dickheads.

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(no subject)

May. 4th, 2007 | 10:32 pm

I want to go home or something.

I want my mum. I know I sound like a cunt, but I really really want my mum.

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(no subject)

Apr. 24th, 2007 | 07:26 pm

I am quite possibly going to be living with the wrong people next year.

I may not bother going back.

I don't need to.

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(no subject)

Apr. 24th, 2007 | 11:56 am

I am starting to wonder what the hell I'm doing here. Not just uni, life in general. If you want, you can assume I want to die. You may not be too far off. I'm not sure.

I don't like talking about how I feel because, I just hate explaining it. You get it or you don't- chances are you don't.So, I don't talk. I just act like a cunt to whoever it is that tries to talk to me. You, you and YOU.
I don't see why I need to explain.

There are a fuck load of chances for me to to write for online music magazines, yet I don't do it. I want to..I just can't. I guess it's rejection. It happens most of the time..I just want it to stop. But, nothing is easy.

I'd go on, but I don't know what to say.

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(no subject)

Apr. 15th, 2007 | 09:02 pm

I am wasting time and money by being at uni.

I have to write 1000 about a festival, an album being released in May/June and a gig.

I have no interest in it at all.

I honestly don't get why I am here.

I don't believe in music anymore. There is nothing to believe in. I don't want commercial bollocks like Razorlight or Arctic Monkeys.
I don't want something that sounds like something else.

I know it's pathetic, but really...fuck it.

I have fuck all to say because it'll make me sound like a wanker.

I WANT TO FUCKING CRY.

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(no subject)

Mar. 28th, 2007 | 06:21 pm

I'm off home tomorrow for...just over a week. Can't wait actually.

I went into town with Shaun and got my nephew a few presents from the Disney Store, and I've got something for my niece that I got in London a few weeks ago.
She's too fat/young for an Easter Egg! :p

Me and Shaun were in kitchen last night til half 2 this morning making pancakes! I made 2..they looked a bit anemic lol. I hate pancakes.

I need to stop being a cunt to a certain person, but maybe I'm like that with everyone. I don't push people away anymire. I just don't actually speak if something is bothering me because usually I can deal with it straight away. I write a song, and I'm good.
Apparently I'm talented..but I don't see it. It's just something I do.
Every song I've written doesn't tell a story and not all of them are about me. Some are about me, some are about people I know or things I've seen that day.
I just don't like it if someone goes "that's about...." It usually isn't so..in your faaaace.

I am so tired.

I still haven't got anywhere to do my work placement. One got back to me, they say they're based in Rome!
I just want to work for a music magazine in Birmingham. That's all. But they're not replying to me. I don't want to go into radio, I hate my voice. I don't EVER want to go into television because I hate how it works and I hate how I look. I just want my own music magazine, even if it's something small ya know. I just want it. I want my own book shop. It'll specialise in alternative/cult fiction and have sooo many music magazines, including mine. Maybe start up a fanzine. I know I can do it, and I know I will. I just need to..stop messing around. Not leave tihngs half done. I don't knwo why I do it. But, with music/writing...I never leave it alone. I love it more than I probably should, but it's not hurting anyone.

I just need to find somewhere decent to have my book shop. I have a few places in mind. I just hope it isn't like Black Books!

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(no subject)

Mar. 22nd, 2007 | 10:01 pm

I have a mini afro. I look ace/retarded.

Anyway, I was having a nap before, and I was probably dreaming as i was dribbling a bit. Yeah, I'm dead attractive!
Annnnnnnd, I got woken up by that twat next door again...fucking snoring!

So I got Jon, Sean and Shaun to hear it. Jon decided to go down the corridoor shouting "YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE SLAMMING SOME DOORS. YOU KNOW..JUST SLAMMING SOME DOORS. YOU KNOW!" and just started slamming the kitchen door! That boy is now a legend. The twat didn't stop snoring, but we had a laughing fit. I can't stop giggling if I think about it!

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(no subject)

Mar. 18th, 2007 | 03:21 pm

Today I have tidied my room and handwashed some clothes.

When I'm here, I can hardly sleep because of that twat next door. It's like he's in my room snoring. It's disgusting.

I need to write up some album reviews and send them to some online magazine I got in touch with.

My mum text me this morning saying she's proud of me. Aww. Least someone is. Then again, there's not really anything to be proud of.

I helped Hol move her stuff out of uni for Easter yesterday, I met her mum. She's really really cool. I like her. Really tall!

It was snowing her like half an hour ago...now the sun is out. Odd.

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